more in the way of conservative sentiment

here's another thing


I guess I knew something of what might be understood as a conservative intellectual tradition but my reading had not taken me there I had never read a book by William f. buckley...in fact I still have not...o I take that back I read a short suspense novel he wrote...somehow I was led to believe that conservative thinkers and writers were to be avoided and the progressive and daring efforts were what made literature and writing good...now i've read two books by roger scruton and I actually love the guy he's great and I've read a memoir by Russell kirk and I loved it I thought this guy is amazing ...and while I'm sure the conservative bent holds down a minority place in the world of literature and politics I'm finding the critical observations to be more exact and more balanced than anything the left or the avante-garde has to offer...only late have I come to realize that my favorite European writer Claudio Magris is definitely in the conservative ranks of writers and cultural thinkers...it occurs to me that the conservative thinkers hold within themselves the key to the hermeneutic of continuity they believe they inherit more than they produce and that the efforts to achieve beauty and truth are bestowed down through the generations and we are arrogant to dismiss our obligation as thinking people we in effect owe it to our intellectual ancestors to heed their warnings to peer into the depths they looked into to admire the well thought out deductions from which some sense of the complexity and tragedy and beauty of humanity can always be deduced and measured against


I have left behind the left left it in left field left it for something better than the left left leftist leftwing liberal leanings I no longer wish to entertain the limits of individual freedom or think about some inherent rights based on one's delusions of self ...if the left is about some insidious liberation of women I am adamantly opposed...it is not a good thing and women reveal the stupidity of their shifted status in the world every day despite the effort to portray women as the intelligent leaders and up to the skills of men which is a ridiculous myth women will never outdo men in anything requiring brute strength or athletic prowess nor will they ever attain equality in high level abstract thinking required of the logical practical sciences...if the left is about liberal license for sick and devious sexual practices I am on the right I am conservative....marriage is about marriage I don't give a flying phuq what anyone says people have always married with one central purpose in mind...to be ignorant or defy that reality is to cast humanity into an idealized mold from which I for one will encourage everyone I can find to run from to not submit to the new mold of individualized liberty in the realm of sexuality just don't


insofar as marx and freud have left their marks on the left I am hellbent against the left and want nothing to do with any of it anymore psychology I have come to believe is a scam an intellectual insult with nothing to offer and the phuqqing Marxists can all go phuq themselves as far as I'm concerned they with their demented visions of a new liberated man liberated by his own means liberated by revolution bringing down the oppressive institutions of church and state and remaking his own world in the contours of reason and positive thought man for himself by himself in control of every aspect every dimension of the human realm...they do not seem to know that the only liberty we can be assured of is the liberty of the cross...therefore I am a conservative catholic... I do not want what the left wants I do not want it at all ...the left is bereft


the biggest tragedy in modern catholicism is the wholesale capitulation to the principles of modernism...the conservative in me is insulted by the compromise


HumanaeVitae is the most important statement to come from rome in the last 500 years...and it has been suppressed and ignored by the catholic left in a form of collective cowardice and stupidity...only the conservative minded thinkers and theologians have been able to preserve the wisdom therein...it is my hope that the new younger generations will take hold of the wisdom...they will be conservative when they do....drastically counter-cultural...but conservative


I'm finding that I rather enjoy being conservative
























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confessions of a lifetime conservative

it seems most apropos this rainy monday morning as august hurls to a close schools are gearing up again farmers are thinking in terms of harvest that I should return to this blog which I started in good intention started to explore some of what is thought in the world and why what I think and where thought leads obviously I branched out some and other blogs took on forms of life but virtually without notice...what I wish to divulge and then perhaps substantiate and then perhaps even lend rational argument toward is the change that has taken place in my thought and beliefs since beginning this cyber experiment some 10 yrs ago



we all know the world for what it is
no need to disregard those words
but we do ignore the truth
and in its place
place our perceptions and imaginings
skimpy reflections of a shattered mirror

reality is too much
unless taken with doses of prayer
or sitting silent for long moments
or even with the glass of amber liquid
on ice
but even then we admit deeply to ourselves
if not to anyone else
it is too much

i have only wished to sing
and though my voice cracks
and the loose gravel in my throat rattles the tune
i will not reserve my heart
you may not like the song
but don't ignore the singer
for god's sake

this was the first making I made at the beginning of things in april of 2007 it was then 10 yrs ago or more almost 11 or more who knows about time that I'd been deliberating about a mode of thought consistent with the formal demands of the new technology one where my penchant for punctuationless writing  could be developed and sustained and my thoughts could thereby be presented to the curious world in a mode of immediacy and my laziness could thereby be ignored and the whole mess would just look clever...lots of luck I should have said to myself back then....


yet it would be ignorant to assume that some evident growth did not happen for amidst all that I have presented on this blog and in light of the conversations that did ensue on this blog and others namely Kirby olsons' blog Lutheran surrealism which was a cognitive hog space of lengthy conversations I'm reminded of Og the king of bashan but that will get me nowhere what I really wish to say is that through all of this blog log slogging in some marginale social realms of thinking and expressing thought I have gone through a definite transformation...when I started to write on this blog and elsewhere I think it would be safe to say that I shared most of the then liberal political views of things social justice and lassaizze faire free individuals suspicion of older stale traditions look to the new the possible...now it may be obvious it may be surprising I don't know but now I must say I recognize my social political temperament as solidly conservative I share little if anything with the liberal left either politically or culturally...what's more I think it safe to say that it was not so much transformation but a mode of conversion insofar as I became aware of something in myself that had always been there but either I did not know myself that well or that i had not plumbed the greater significance of what I believe and why.......


thus    ' a bewildering search  '    set the stage for some poignant self-awareness


can I enumerate or describe this so called   " change of mind "....


this I will do perhaps tomorrow for it is the nature of the search to not wear itself out
the search will be as serious tomorrow as it is today....


the problem lingers
at least the question must be asked
why am i a conservative?

while i will admit to a certain amount of ignorance in regard to myself i must also point to a life time of shrewd hard and always humorous observations even when tending to the cynical in my judgments in the 70s who wasn't for no war civil rights free love and ecology those were the big issues for middle class white kids smoking pot and taking life on a lark....yet no doubt now i have grown...if i recall correctly my inner enlightenment first corresponds to a moment of embarking on a pilgrimage now it could be said that it began before that but the correspondence of a shared journey brings the conversion into context....as it is my self conscious turn toward self admitted conservative causes is associated with a friendship and what might appear odd about this is that friendship is not now based inherently upon conservative principles i would even go so far as to say    'my friend is not a conservative'    but my discussions with her were the first hard awarenesses i had that i was leaning on conservative values as i pleaded with her begged pushed her a little emotionally danced with her in my excited effort to see her into the catholic way of things now it should go without saying that i would have remained friends with her had she not waded the tiber so to speak but since she has my delight seems to know no bounds and i find myself wondering what indeed was i leaning on in my apologies for the faith many of which seemed wrenched from me in the throes of love but who am i to judge the lover owning a region of freedom no other man comprehends unless he too has known the region but i found myself leaning on thomas aquinas for instance my go to guy when it comes to reasonable thinking while she resorted to karl rahner someone i have read and respect but he signals a bit too much of the new optimism of thought whereas aquinas to whom rahner pays considerable due remains sober and settled in the erotic dedication to the pursuit of truth i'm probably diverging from the point i first intended to make as is my wont however i will say that that is my awareness of the first subtle shift

a notable moment which exemplifies my rather adamant establishment within the walls of conservative thinking can be articulated in my political awareness which due to my involvement in the multilogue known as lutheran surrealism i came to the troubling self discovery that i am not an american i do not identify with the american project i do not approve of the white anglo saxon protestant stupidity that has passed for far too long as important political momentum...i don't remember exactly when it was but it was during the presidency of barack obama and i suppose i could zero in on one particular legislative act that pushed me over the edge for lack of a better term...i had already taken a firm stand against the supreme courts' liberal assumption of being the collective arbiters of life and offer a liberty that no human being is entitled to in any circumstances whatsoever...that being the moral issue associated with the ethical issue in regards to the human act of medical abortion....i still maintain that it is a mark of horrible savagery amid every presupposition of progress in our present civilization....that would be enough i suppose to qualify me as a conservative but i still maintained for many years that i was a pro-life democrat and proud of it  (  i was a bit stupid i must admit  )....for in a deeper sense it was known to me even then that i detested medical birth control and the revision of institution of marriage away from sacramental determinants


when the public discussion of gender liberty became a thing i noted inwardly that it was the second offense that i wanted nothing to do with any of it and i still don't call me retrograde call me hopeless i will not now or ever acknowledge or even associate intellectually or otherwise the word "marriage"  with the inherently selfish physical preoccupation with samesame homohomo lezbolezbo sexuality no way jose' i will not play i'll take my ball and walk away i have nothing more to say....but still i thought well i want freedom for desperadoes trying to find a way in the world and i thought health care should be if not free very inexpensive so i suppose i hung in there thinking the stupid sex stuff would work itself out


do i play cognitive political baseball with political standards

three strikes

i gave it three strikes

the third strike was
when barack obama signed into  law the right and supposed obligation of women to bear arms into war...it was there and then that i proclaimed  NO PHUQQING WAY...and i am still offended and horrified by the prospect which is held out there as being somehow progressive when i think it is the most ridiculous and atrocious state of affairs since the amazons lit upon their sorry victims

since my gut reaction to this lamebrain move i have had to come to terms with what may have appeared to many as misogyny ...when in fact it is a revulsion that is expressed in clear terms when i shout from the street corner   I DETEST FEMINISM  in all its modes and means i hate it i want nothing to do with it i am fervently pissed off at the feminists and i will maintain and prove with intelligent argument just how utterly inane and stupid and literally antiprogressive their preoccupations in the cultural and political realms really are

so i suppose that's it in a nutshell
i have renounced my american citizenship i will not vote i will stand apart
from the illusions of progress and argue adamantly from the conservative grove of trees

thomas aquinas
pro-life
anti-feminist
anti-supreme court
anti-state incursion.... the veritable arrogance of presuming to define or should we say redefine the word marriage according to the sick and perverse physical preoccupations of a drastic minority

i want to insist on the social value indeed the necessity of the family and the home
i do not want women to carry guns into war
i believe sexual intercourse is a great gift and possibility for many people
and it should never be dissociated  from children...from new life
i hold to the one holy catholic and apostolic bottom line of christianity
and i take those words rather literally
i continue to believe that a very good case can be made for everyone being catholic
(  if they'd just open up their goddam minds a little )
and roman catholic..yes why not



that's enough for now
it is to this moment that my
bewildering search has arrived
and now i will reflect more on this state of affairs that finds me firmly
in the conservative camp

perhaps i can revive some original spirit on this blog
even an audience of one would be a marked improvement


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