ordinary time

a brief overview

of the last few weeks

as an epistemological portal

to the rest of the story



i wish to write here about 5 deaths

which have been on my mind of late

5 recent deaths

and this too is i gather

part of the ongoing discourse on knowing

for what can make us think

about what is important in life more than death

i know something of my own finitude

because i experience the unmistakeable reality

of life's end...as we know it



Benizir Bhutto



i hate to say that this was simply a lack of understanding

from two sides

it is afterall far more complicated than that



maybe i should pose the problem

as a question:

what would be the outcome of a staged dialogue

between radical american feminists

and muslim edxtremists?

could a beginning even be realized?



but that is the conflict

benizir bhutto

strong intelligent beautiful

believing in the social "progress"

of the european-american west

and

osama bin laden

who represents a koran based world

where women are understood in a

drastically different way



it is sad that she died as she did

something beautiful and hopeful snuffeed out

in a moment of irrational zeal



all the eulogies in the world won't repair

the loss

won't even salve the wounds much



in a way

she was too beautiful



Scott Wordal



a side theme to my recent trip to montana

was the impending death of a man

i knew when we were but youngsters

his sister broke open my heart

and taught me a thing or two

in the love realm



scott had been diagnosed with cancer last summer

and decided he wasn't going to fight it

but he ended up in salt lake city around christmas time

and was served the notice

he chose to go back to montana

he chose to return to montana and take matters

into his own hands

he went to his home with the help

of a lovely woman

and filled his tub with water

stepped in and

shot himself in the heart



i can only say

that the god i pray to

must know and be present to us

in the minds' darkest moments

and he allows for the will

and he is there with mercy



John Wilch



i first met john wilch when i was

a sophomore in college

his son matthew was my resident assitant

but more importantly

his other son

patrick

was a guitar player

and i knew i had to learn a few things from him



pat only went to st johns that first year

and then i lost touch

save for one moment when he came here

while i was in the monastery

to see his brother matt

who was in the monastery at that time

and he showed me his wife

she was beautiful



this past year i had the pleasure

of seeing john 3 times

he and his wife jo

visit in arizona

and they were with patrick

adn i had a delightful afternoon

with mexican food

and then a viewing of some

south american art

and then soem coffee and more talk



i saw john on the hiway between

florence and phoenix a few weeks later

i passed him

he didn't see me



and just before christmas

he and joanne and matthew

made a trip up here from iowa

and we had a few wonderful moments



all i can say is that i feel somehow oddly

changed with but a few rather innocent
moments of human discourse

philip kaufman

philip was something of a gentle rebel
he saw things a bit differently
and approached scripture
and church teaching in general
from the perspective of a cultural jew

let it be said that he led a very humble
and productive life
his approach to arguments was
serious but always with the possibity
of a joke or a good ironic laugh
making its way into the exchange of ideas


dan hanson

my brother died on january 13 2002
it was a far greater shock to me
than the islamic extremist attacks
4 months before

and every year in the depth of winter
i tend to have this recollection of the
whole experience
the morning phone call
my mothers' words
my tears in the arms
of abbot melvin valvano
the hasty plans to get me on a plane
watching the sliver of moon
all the way from new jersey to seattle
and the ensuing experience with family
and funeral and friends

as i write i am now aware
of yet another passing
the father of my good friend
in montana
martin settle
patriarch of one of the great ranching families of the state
passed on to green pastures
in the dead of winter

his philosophy of ranching was
simple but profound
betraying a sensitivity to
implications rather than the
processes which bring them about

always save enough grass to get you through spring
and always try to get along with the neighbors

amen martin

amen