winter ponderings

i return to the title of this blog

since my journey to montana
i've experienced a mood of
apathy for blogging

i left off my epistemological
train of thinking
with DESIRE FOR KNOWLEDGE

i am a bit bewildered
it appears
a bit SAD

i've even left off reading
a recent inquiry into
Jacques Maritain's
DEGREES OF KNOWLEDGE
and my sporadic forays into poetry
and a novel here or there
has all but ceased

i gaze around
like a sailor in a life boat
waking in the doldrums
nothing but sky and water
little to inspire

were i to take this dilemma to a
doctor
i'm sure there'd be a physical
some inquiry into my vital signs
blood tests et cetera

were i to take this dilemma to a
psychologist
there'd be inquiry into
my state of mind
recent "red flags" leading to
depression
and surely something could be
substantiated there
the theme of death hit home
rather
dramatically
over the past few weeks

as i feel myself emerge from the darker regions
of my being
i have a new opportunity
to know myself
and to know by my thoughts
and thereby move to regain
a sense of lively participation
in the life around me
and i should hope
and expression of all this
in a musical vein

already the ideas are apparent
i've yet to muster the energy
to swing with the ideas

the message for this weeks'
vigil for christian unity
is
"PRAY WITHOUT CEASING"

to learn to pray in the doldrums
in the uneventful almost lifeless atmosphere
is my present challenge

i shall confront my problem
with the sound of my guitar

i shall speak with my friend

onward rocinante!!

interesting note

in the very writing of this
i sensed an inkling of revitalization

there is therapy in the doing